Actor Colton Haynes, who had roles in Arrow and Teen Wolf, recently opened up about the challenges he’s face with depression and substance abuse. In an essay for Paper, the 28-year-old writes a “mental health check-in” between his state of mind and body in 2014 versus now.
“Something’s been off recently,” he writes in a passage from 2014. “I honestly wake up after five hours of sleep wide awake. It’s probably from the bottle of wine I drank before I finally fell asleep/passed out or the amount of pills I’d had. I read up on why I’m experiencing numbness and lack of circulation in my hands and feet and it’s due to the stimulants…I’m a vampire. A shell.”
Colton publicly came out as gay in May, explaining to Entertainment Weekly that while he’d always been open about his sexuality with the people in his personal life, his public persona was less true to himself. That public pressure, couple with existing mental and physical health issues, prompted Colton to move away from the limelight, taking a step back from both of his shows to focus on his personal health.
Colton’s Paper diary details his previous cycle of desiring a change, either in returning to his past happier self or moving forward to a better place, but being unable to conquer simple day-to-day tasks in order to start. It’s a familiar turn of events for anyone who’s experienced a similar cycle, in which the motivation to get better is harder to find than the initial desire. Earlier this week, he shared a preview of his Paper diary with an Instagram post.
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Luckily, Colton was able to break out of his darker days, by asking for help and seeking treatment. Now, he encourages anyone going through a similar ordeal to do the same, even if they don’t feel that they’re capable of even requesting help.
“Don't be afraid to seek help,” he writes. “There are so many people out there who put their jobs first and their mental health last...and trust me...it will creep up on you. There are so many amazing people out there who can help with anxiety and other mental health issues...please don't be afraid and know that it gets better.”
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