Live What You Love
As I stand at work, I wait for customers to arrive. The thing about standing while at work, is you have a lot of time to think about your life. So, I look down and catch a glimpse of a reminder fastened around my wrist. My friend bought me a bracelet that reads, “Live What You Love”. When I asked her why she picked this saying out of all the other ones, she said, “Read the meaning and you will understand”. In summary, the saying means to live your life doing the things you love to do, loving who you chose to love and living a life you can look back on and smile about.
In that moment, I realized I haven’t been doing anything to make myself happy. I stopped going to the gym and yoga, which were two things that kept me centered. I stopped paying attention to what it is that makes me so happy in life and in doing so, I became sad and depressed. I’ve always seemed to have these talks with myself but afterward couldn’t quite find the motivation to do anything about it. I know I am more than capable of doing anything I set my mind to; everyone is. But we find ways to avoid starting or trying to begin something, that could potentially help us or make us happy.
Personally, I am scared to fail. On the other end, I am scared of dying without accomplishing anything I wanted to do. One of my biggest fears is dying and never leaving a mark on this world. Now, this mark doesn’t need to be a big one, but I want it to be a mark. For example, with writing my books, I will be writing for the LGBTQ community. One of my main focuses, is to write normal love stories about same sex couples and be able to have an LGBTQ section within book stores; where my books will proudly be shelved next to other LGBTQ authors.
I want to be remembered for making change happen; good change. The kind people write or make films about. At the end of the day, I just want to be happy. Life is too short to let people bring you down or make you not believe your dreams could come true. I don’t want to wait for an illness or death deadline, to wake me up and push myself to try. This is my life and I want to live it now.
I have many ideas and projects I want to accomplish within my lifetime but nothing is going to happen, if I don’t actually put myself out there and try. I don’t exactly know the course I am going to take or what steps I need in order to get there but I am working on it. All I know for sure is I want more than this. More than waking up every morning and going to sleep every night, not feeling accomplished; feeling incomplete. I want more than to work and make money. I want a dream. I want to follow my heart and I will get there but first I have to try. In the end, I just want to fall in love with my life.
