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Two men meet somewhere, instantly take a liking to each other and after a few smiles and flirting, end up having sex. Does this remind you of every gay sex depiction on screen? If only, real life was just as incredible!
While gay men and their love and lust stories have finally found their moment under the sun when it comes to on-screen representation, we’re still far behind, unfortunately, when it comes to accurately depicting the nuances of gay sex.
Forget about actually educating people on how it actually happens, movies and shows are busy getting it all wrong instead. Fortunately for you, we’re here to set things straight (pun not intended!)
Gay men are absolutely capable of meeting one another without ending up in each other’s bed, bath and beyond. A date between two homosexual men doesn’t always lead to sex, nor do they almost always have to be so blatant about it. Just like heterosexual equations, these two are about so much more than just physical intimacy.
Despite what movies and shows would like you to believe, gay men don’t just go at each other like rabbits. There’s a lot of foreplay beforehand, and enough and more flirting and getting in the mood. It’s 2024 so can we please bust the notion that men don’t care about foreplay?
When was the last time you saw two men getting it on on-screen and one of them reached out for some lube? Chances are, almost never. Because if pop culture is to be believed, gay men don’t really need and/or use artificial lubrication when the reality is exactly the opposite!
Achieving an orgasm isn’t a given, even in gay sex. Especially for the one who isn’t topping. For some of them, it’s pleasurable but only up to a point, after which they need to handle the situation on their own.
Anal penetration might be the preferred form of pleasure for a majority of gay men but not all of them enjoy it as much as the others. Some don’t even do it, actually.
Sex, in general, is vast, and no person, irrespective of their orientation, should be limited to just one kind of penetration or one form of pleasure.
While depicting two men locked in passion, movies and shows rarely explore the not-so-pleasurable aspect of sex. Anal sex, in particular, can get both uncomfortable and painful for the one who is bottoming but this is rarely acknowledged in its on-screen portrayal unless it’s being shown as an act of violence.
Yes, both are an integral part of a gay man’s dating life but these aren’t the only way to meet someone in the community. Many gay men, believe it or not, actually end up meeting someone in pretty much the same locations and situations as their heterosexual counterparts. Shocked, are you?
